by Tanya Jane
It’s grown colder. As cold as it can get in Australia, anyway. I wore broken shoes to work for a week before I realised perhaps its time to let them go- summer was far more forgiving. Dark clouds thick with mist roll overhead every morning through the darkness I travel to work in. Often I run for my bus and the air is so cold that the warm moisture from my eyes form tears to roll down my face. It’s times like these I remember that it never rained before hand, before now. In the time that was between all the things, it never rained.
I’ve started renting out a studio space in the city, it’s an alleyway behind my workplace and sometimes in my early morning lunch breaks I climb the stairs up to our story so I can sit on the balcony and watch our city in a daze before returning to my desk at a local internet company where i work. Once I’m there I roll out my super-smooth-work voice for the rest of the afternoon. It rolls easy, just like the days do.
I went interstate to regroup, as I always do. It worked. I spent my days with my camera and the setting sun, and evenings with friends having dinner in small cafes. Sometimes I smoked, and remembered that I hate what it does to me. Most of the time I spent affirming all the decisions that I’ve made- after all someone has to. It was a welcome change and brought the reminder that love always wins. Life isn’t perfect but it’s easy and I appreciate taking things slow, because I’m going to get it right this time- I can feel it.